The Gender Thing: Heather on Gender Roles

I just found you all by following one interesting link to another, but the name of the blog alone draws me in. I was a journaller way back when, before hubbie and four kids, and daily wonder if I’d have more of my act together if I just had an hour to write, which for me represents (replaces?!?!?) thinking. I find my thoughts wander if I try to think while picking up toys/clothes, handing out snacks, reading endless notes from school… You get the idea.

Bear with me as I think aloud on the gender issue. I have two girls (8 and 10) and two boys (6, with autism, and 4, adopted overseas). I think about “the gender thing” too much. I find I can’t separate it effectively from the autism/adoption “thing”. A dear friend with three bio/neurotypical boys tells me all the time that my dudes are more normal than I think… they’re just boys. I am learning to bless who they are as they climb, break (to see what would happen) and defy common sense. I want them to be the men they are destined to be, and am embracing the idea of guiding them there as much as it is mine to do so.

My girls, meanwhile, are smart, funny, confident, thinking people, and I wonder what their futures hold. I hope they can be any or all of the things they envision for themselves, including the one that (today) wants to be a vet, and the one that wants to be a farmer/teacher/mom. Our parents are super busy with their lives, and while we understand that, my husband and I are aiming ourselves in directions that will allow us to be involved grandparents, and to make it *perhaps???* more possible for our girls to do and be what they dream. Has the extended family lost its way? We wonder. We live in a city with a huge Asian population, and they don’t seem to have the same questions I do.

My first blog reply… I’ll work on getting more pithy!