Fighting “Gender Policing”: Kim on Gender Roles

I also think that feminist mothers have to stay conscious of what happens outside of our own private worlds. I taught the books “Dude, You’re A Fag” and “Guyland” last year in my sociology classes, and both books revealed how hierarchical and harsh masculinity can be – for boys and girls. The violence perpetrated and experienced by young people, as part of “gender policing” was horrific but I was the only one shocked and moved by it (my students were just living it). How do we keep tutu-wearing boys safe as they venture out? How do we challenge the idea that the manliest-men will put “bros before hos” and will use sexual violence as a way to prove themselves so they don’t get targeted? How do we make it possible for our really smart girls to hold jobs that pay them enough to be independent? How do we make it more possible for our children to care for families without giving up quite as much as we have? I get so overwhelmed by the sexism that is outside of us, vs. the various ways we are inside… I guess that’s why I need to work more — I need a place to put all this thinking.