Hello – 1

I’m Kathleen.  I live in an old house in Portland, Maine with my husband Ari, our children Tessa and Calder, and our dog Sadie.  Ari and I have been together since we were 17 – long enough to change cities, careers, and life goals several times.  I’ve gone from type-A overachiever to at-home mom.  Ari has gone from super-smart super-slacker to successful writer and entrepreneur.  I’m proud of who we are as individuals, as a couple, and now as a young family – which doesn’t mean I’m not overwhelmed a lot of the time.

My levels of anxiety reached epic proportions in the months following Calder’s birth.  One morning, as I sobbed uncontrollably through changing diapers, making breakfast, and drinking coffee, I realized that I needed help.  Two therapists and several months of Zoloft later, I feel like myself again.  But my bout with postpartum depression has convinced me that I really do need to take care of myself in order to be the mother, wife, and person I want to be.

It’s easy for me to think of things that help me connect with myself and stay energized.  The trick is making time to do them – especially when there’s laundry to be done, toys to be picked up, games to be played, stories to be read…

Mamas Always Write is my way of making that time.  Writing has always been my way of reflecting, documenting, and making sense of my world. I want and need to write about my experience of motherhood, and I want and need to hear about other mothers’ experiences.  That seems to be true for a lot of us.  We are reading and writing blogs, confiding in the online community in ways we don’t seem to be able to in our friends.  This is powerful stuff, and I am grateful for the consolation and inspiration it provides.  Since I’ve been a writer far longer than I’ve been a mother, entering into this conversation feels very natural.  But I want my mothering experience to be the beginning of my writing, not the end.

Haruki Murakami said, “writing honestly about running and writing honestly about myself are nearly the same thing.”  That’s how I feel about mothering, and that’s what I’ll try to do here.  

I hope you’ll share your writing here too, and tell me what being a mother is like for you.

This piece was the original “Hello” page on Mamas Always Write.