Learning her own world: Maxwell on School

I’m head-over-heels in love with your blog – the education question especially set me thinking. For one, it was the first time I had heard the term “unschooling”, an idea alluring in its insolent rejection of an undeniably outdated system. And the cons – “too much family time”! Such honesty, even self-criticism in regard to your own maternity!

I had one friend in school who was homeschooled until the age of 13.  I’m not one to make any judgement about the efficacy of such a method, but I do know that in high school she was extremely smart and extremely pretty, but had no self-confidence. Yes, I know, you’re probably thinking that describes hundreds of people you know who went to regular school, but my feeling from this case is that a school environment is necessary for a girl to learn how to assert her wit and beauty. It’s a crazy time to be a woman – one can achieve anything, but so many are held back, sometimes solely by a lack of confidence.

You seem to already know that school is the right decision, and I will admit that there is a huge distinction between different school options. My high school was an incredibly competitive public school. I was completely slaughtered trying to take all of the hardest classes and be involved in all of the most demanding activities. So much of the time, I wish I could’ve been a big fish in a small pond. The University of Rochester actually called my guidance counselor, demanding to know why I was a C student with a 1500 SAT! I think my guidance counselor replied with “Because he’s a creative!”. Bad memories, but learning experiences, which brings me to the next point.

Ultimately, any school will teach SO much to your daughter. From everything you’ve written, I can tell that your daughter is smart. Really smart. Probably smarter than you or Ari or me. She’s not learning our world. She’s learning her own world. She needs your guidance, but she has no problem learning all by her bad self.

Have you read the Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson? It’s one of my favorite favorite books, and is centrally concerned with the theme of educating girls. I could talk all night about it.