“Independent:” Tara on School

I’m so used to making jokes about how I can’t wait for the kids to be back in school…about how I need them to go, about how my littlest one, Anna, is so ready, so willing,so.going.
But the truth is, I just came off over two weeks of everybody home, and yes, it was hard, and chaotic at times, and I could have used more help cleaning and less noise…but I also got used to having them here again, like summertime.  Got used to not feeling as much pressure about bedtime, and no worries about homework being done, and certainly, got used to the late mornings.  It is as much work for me on school mornings as it is for them, to get them all up and out with a clean outfit, full belly, healthy lunch, notes signed, etc…And it’s even as emotionally pulling for me, when I know they’re tired, or worried about something coming up during the day, or even just wanting to curl back into mommy, stay at home just. because.  It’s a relief to have them out the door, but it’s never quite right until they come back through it at the end of the day.

I know none of this helps you much.  And I have a million other things I could tell you about on the topic, but I just realized that I’m on your comments page, not across the table from you with a cup of tea!  So…yes, I worry too, about the day, next September, when my then 4 year old will go to pre-k five days a week.  For all sorts of reasons, but perhaps mostly, because I will miss her.  
I’ve done this all before though, and so I know that they do not go far from me, and that even as they get older, they need me in ways that a newly “independent” three year old can’t even begin to need me.  

So you’ve got that all to look forward to.

This piece first appeared as a comment on School!